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Max and Paddy's Road to Nowhere is a British comedy television show on Channel 4 starring and written by Peter Kay and Patrick McGuinness . All the episodes were also directed by Kay. It began on November 12 , 2004 and ran for six 30 minute episodes up until December 17 , 2004 , with each episode airing at 9.30pm. A huge nationwide billboard poster campaign helped promote the series, with the colourful and vibrant posters recalling those for movies such as The Cannonball Run .

The veteran singer Tony Christie was also promoted as singing the show's theme, but his version was only used once; at the very end of the final episode. Kay and McGuinness themselves sang it in the opening sequences of Episodes 2 to 6, chiming: "Don't know where we're going/Got no way of knowing/Driving on the Road To Nowhere/Sponging for a living/Checkin' out the women/Riding on the Road To Nowhere.....And we don't take shit from anyone/The only thing we wanna do is have some fun/It's Max and Paddy/Paddy and Max/And best of all we don't pay council tax ". The tune borrowed heavily from the theme to the 1970s American series B.J. and the Bear .

This spin off from Peter Kay's Phoenix Nights follows the two Bolton doormen/bouncers Max (Kay) and Paddy (McGuinness) as they wind their way around England in their campervan .

The key reason why they are on the open road is never mentioned in the series however: they took £8,000 from a woman in the second series of Peter Kay's Phoenix Nights to kill her husband, but never properly went through with the job. When she discovered this, they hit the road in the van to escape the possible consequences. Although this series was broadcast two years after Peter Kay's Phoenix Nights , the action seems to be set immediately afterwards.

Max is the older and more stubborn/sensible of the two, roughly 40 years old, and usually pretends to have more life experience than he's actually had, e.g. a stint in the army . Paddy is a cheeky and likely lad obsessed with sex , pornography , food , and several strange but funny catchphrases such as "Dink Dank Doo" (Spelling taken from the official T-shirt). Max often coldly stares at Paddy or anyone who has offended his tastes and often shouts "How dare you!". He also calls people a clown or a melon if they've said something absurd. T-shirts featuring the show's many catchphrases were immediate best-sellers.

A second series of the show was initially announced for a planned 2006 broadcast, but it now looks as if Peter Kay will instead work on a different Channel 4 project called I'm Peter Kay .

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